It's the fucking Catalina wine mixer.



tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS

To all of my vertically challenged friends, I am terribly sorry, I cannot help my stride sometimes.

I’m changing an answer to the questions I answered the other night.

9. Favorite quote that you like to use in everyday conversation? 
“I know, Doug. I know.” Again, a reference only a few on here will get. That one comes out before I even realized what I’ve said 95% of the time.



DC is being all gritty and “realistic” and Marvel just had a movie where the galaxy is saved by a dance-off and the power of friendship


how do people have relationship after relationship like i can’t find a single person to find me remotely attractive for a solid second


Kristin tagged me in a thing but I have no clue how to tag people nor do I have the energy to this of ten new questions for people so I’m just answering hers!

1. Favorite restaurant?
Igloo, which is a diner near my apt in Queens

2. Favorite stand up and/or improv team?
Stand up would have to be Mulaney, hands down. Pete Holmes is a close second though. If we are talking lesser known - Jared Logan or Sean Donnelly. In terms of improv teams, I don’t follow them much but I’d say Stepfathers. Or there’s a team that has a weekly show @ ucbeast that’s pretty great, what I did for love

3. Favorite Simpsons character?
It’s a tie between Ralph Wiggum and Troy McClure.

4. Favorite rom-com?

5. What reality show would you want to be casted on?
I want to say so you think you can dance, but I would never make it. Maybe The Bachelor? I could be the snarky girl who just makes fun of everyone, a la dog lover Kelly from Juan Pablo’s season.

6. Give me a new song/album recommendation. Why should I listen to it?
I don’t really listen to much new music, but “bang bang” by Jessie j, Ariana grande and nicki minaj is just reminding me how insanely good Jessie j is. Go listen to her first album!

7. Give me a new tv show recommendation. Why should I watch it?
Are you watching orphan black? Everyone should be watching that brilliant show. Otherwise - the Good Wife. Brilliant television. I’ve never seen a show have such a resurgence in season FIVE. Plus, it’s all about the male/female friendship dynamics for me. The brotps.

8. What Hogwarts house would you be sorted into?
Probably hufflepuff.

9. Favorite quote that you like to use in everyday conversation?
“I tried, Earl! I tried!” Which only like, four of you will get what that’s in reference to

10. Favorite John Mulaney joke that isn’t the Salt and Pepper Diner?
I can quote the Delta Airlines bit in almost any situation

11. What’s your Zodiac sign? Do you believe in that shit anyway?
I’m a Leo, and no I don’t. I don’t really fit into the Leo box.

Life is so hard when your best friend is a 9.5/10 and you’re a strong 4 with the right filter and lighting

Tonight I am playing a game called “I no longer like you like that but that doesn’t mean I don’t still want you to look at me and go ‘god damn, I am an idiot and could’ve hit that goddamnit.’”

So I am all boobs, all leg, and fabulous makeup. Holla.

wait i can explain

wait i can explain

What do you do when you find an acquaintance on tinder, who was active on it as of five minutes ago. What do you do if this person is your friendly acquaintance and his LONG TIME GIRLFRIEND is also a friendly acquaintance and you don’t know if they are in an open relationship or not